PUA Skills - Voice and Gesture

[azazels_wolf]

Has anyone here had any especially successful, interesting, or amusing experiences with your target (or even sets!) utilizing voice or gesture? Do you have any favorite techniques? Are there any particular skills you'd recommend a PUA to develop in this regard? Has anyone with skills in acting, theater, or performing arts found them helpful in becoming a master PUA? Has anyone ever seen through your act or unexpectedy shattered your routine? Do you have ways of avoiding this?

Do you apply these skills to other areas of your life, while not with a girl?

[Express2]

I act and I find it to be helpful, but not in as many ways as you might expect. In terms of confidence it is not really a booster, because in theatre you get to hide behind the fact that you are playing a character, but in PU you are playing yourself so all that anxiety is still there. Still it can help with little things like your voice, hand movements, and can be a source of stories to DHV with.

[Revolver]

Personally, I've been told by the girls I have dated that I have a very distinct voice that stands out of a crowd. One girl was purely infatuated with the tone and sound of my voice that every time she heard my voice, she got turned on. In my opinion, I think you just need to control your tone and the speed you're speaking at in comparison to those around you.

I live in NYC, so most of the guys who frequent the clubs that are real hip and savvy are filled with wannabe assholes who can't quite communicate well. What do I mean by this? A lot of the guys who go into social environments feel pressured into speaking a certain way to distinguish themselves as being "cool" or "in" with the crowd they're around. Some of them use slang and others try to play it smooth using lingo that isn't easily recognized by everyone you approach. Some guys, if not most, speak with a lot of ebonics and you can hear it in their tone. They figure this form of speech would help them be smooth with the ladies, but its not ideal in my opinion. This can easily play against you since a girl can and will size you up in just about 3 seconds. Her first impression of you (aside from body language) will be not what you're saying, but how you're saying it. Speech that is fast and rushed sounding and/or slow and boring tend to lose the girl as she will probably not understand you or lose her attention to something else... Or worse, you miscommunicate what you're saying and having her give you IODs and ultimately screwing you up the ass.

You should speak with a natural, controlled tone of voice in which the speed of your speech is slowed down. Speak in a relax, audible voice in ordinary English and don't try to go over the top with the slang (unless it seems like the girl is familiar with it.) You should also pause in between words to build anticipation. Never rush out what you need to say! Once you're in set, the pausing will build up the anticipation you need to keep a girl interested (especially if your routine/stack/story is short). Your pace should be slow and rhythmic and your speech will be easy to understand. Don't sound robotic or rushed.

Overall, you're not aiming to achieve a matching tone or controlled speed of anyone in particular. Just practice with some friends when you tell stories or if you're on the phone. As long as you don't sound rehearsed or like the fine print of an advertisement, you should be okay.

-Revolver

[azazels_wolf]

Express2:

Thank you for your input...

Originally Posted by Express2

In terms of confidence it is not really a booster, because in theatre you get to hide behind the fact that you are playing a character, but in PU you are playing yourself so all that anxiety is still there.

Have you ever tried opening or sarging while still in a character of your choice, and then only gradually revealing your real face, so to speak? If not, would you consider trying? Why or why not?

Originally Posted by Express2

Still it can help with little things like your voice, hand movements, and can be a source of stories to DHV with.

Yeah good point, DHV is definitely a factor there. Have you ever demonstrated your acting/theater skills to a HB as part of DHV?

[azazels_wolf]

Revolver:

Excellent response, thank you for your input...

Originally Posted by Revolver

Personally, I've been told by the girls I have dated that I have a very distinct voice that stands out of a crowd. One girl was purely infatuated with the tone and sound of my voice that every time she heard my voice, she got turned on. In my opinion, I think you just need to control your tone and the speed you're speaking at in comparison to those around you.

Yes! Interesting....What impressions do the tone and sound of your voice create for those girls? Power? Intelligence? Maturity? Or something more subtle?

Originally Posted by Revolver

I live in NYC, so most of the guys who frequent the clubs that are real hip and savvy are filled with wannabe assholes who can't quite communicate well. What do I mean by this? A lot of the guys who go into social environments feel pressured into speaking a certain way to distinguish themselves as being "cool" or "in" with the crowd they're around.

I've noticed this as well.... have you noticed whether or not girls, in your experience, also tend to pick up these language characteristics through peer pressure?

Originally Posted by Revolver

Some of them use slang and others try to play it smooth using lingo that isn't easily recognized by everyone you approach. Some guys, if not most, speak with a lot of ebonics and you can hear it in their tone. They figure this form of speech would help them be smooth with the ladies, but its not ideal in my opinion.

Do you think one of the reasons it's not ideal is that the girls have a separate branch of slang and lingo all to their own?

Originally Posted by Revolver

You should speak with a natural, controlled tone of voice in which the speed of your speech is slowed down. Speak in a relax, audible voice in ordinary English and don't try to go over the top with the slang (unless it seems like the girl is familiar with it.) You should also pause in between words to build anticipation. Never rush out what you need to say! Once you're in set, the pausing will build up the anticipation you need to keep a girl interested (especially if your routine/stack/story is short). Your pace should be slow and rhythmic and your speech will be easy to understand. Don't sound robotic or rushed.

Great explanation. This demonstrates to the girl that you know how to communicate well, which is a DHV. Aside from disposing of excessive slang, have you found that certain types of language or vocabulary are more effective than others? Do eloquence and precise vocabulary matter for you?

Originally Posted by Revolver

As long as you don't sound rehearsed or like the fine print of an advertisement, you should be okay.

LOL, good way to put it. Imagine trying to open a set like an auctioneer! Hey...maybe that would be a fun thing to try? LOL....

[Express2]

1st. Sarging in a character that is not congruent with your personality does not work well. Unless of course you are just making a minor adjustment, for example acting as a more outgoing version of yourself. If you try to be something your not it will show in real life, actors can get away with it on stage because they have rehearsed what they are going to say and how to say it over and over again.

2nd. Yes, I have used it, but it can be case specific some girls don't like actors. (Think back to highschool was it the theatre kids getting laid or the jocks ... exactly) The real use of it is two fold: first, once you have have been in enough plays almost any opener can be tied to theatre and then you can easily stack to another routine. Second, there are A LOT of girls into theatre and not very many guys and most of the guys that are are gay. So there is very little competition, resulting in female friends that you can reference in passing to produce a jealousy plotline.

[Revolver]

Originally Posted by azazels_wolf

Revolver:

Excellent response, thank you for your input...



Yes! Interesting....What impressions do the tone and sound of your voice create for those girls? Power? Intelligence? Maturity? Or something more subtle?



I've noticed this as well.... have you noticed whether or not girls, in your experience, also tend to pick up these language characteristics through peer pressure?



Do you think one of the reasons it's not ideal is that the girls have a separate branch of slang and lingo all to their own?



Great explanation. This demonstrates to the girl that you know how to communicate well, which is a DHV. Aside from disposing of excessive slang, have you found that certain types of language or vocabulary are more effective than others? Do eloquence and precise vocabulary matter for you?



LOL, good way to put it. Imagine trying to open a set like an auctioneer! Hey...maybe that would be a fun thing to try? LOL....

The impressions left behind through proper tonality is confidence. Aside from that, the impression is quite subjective to the woman and how she wants to perceive it. You don't want the woman to believe you're a complete wuss nor do you want to sound like every other guy there. Your tone can convey your ability to withstand social pressure, create an aura of confidence most guys in social environments don't have, pr create a "cool guy" or "laid back guy" effect which shows a woman that you're not rushing to chase her until she's won you over.

As far as the girls in their natural social settings... They tend to mimic what is around them. I've been around girls that would act one way in front of their friends and then go all goo-goo eyes on me talking in a completely different tone and style later on when they're alone with me. Their social environment pressures their use of words and attitudes as they tend to feel that they must maintain a certain "fit-in" vibe with their clique.

The reason I believe that the use of slang or odd lingo shouldn't be emphasized is simply because some girls are into it and some girls aren't. You have a better chance approaching a woman in normal English than you would if you approach with something like "Hey mami! How you doin'??" Girls can totally dismiss you upon this as you may seem just as irritating as the last guy who came up to her. If you are a confident man then you shouldn't need to break into some bullshit smooth talking lingo to hook up with a girl. It's just stupid. I was in the Aura Lounge near Astor Place and there was one guy running his mouth calling every women in the lounge "Momma" as if it was cool. He would go and say things like "Hey momma, you wanna dance with this? Shake that thang fo me momma!" (yes, that's how some people speak and no, there are no typos) Now I'm not saying that this would never work, but rarely it would. If a girl wasn't into guys who spoke like that and you had approached in her in that manner, you would be cut upon saying the first 3 words out of your mouth... and boy is it painful! LOL

There aren't any precision or eloquence required when talking to a woman. You don't want to come off as some British royal or something. The best way I could probably describe it online is just for you to speak in a manner that portrays confidence, calmness and clarity. Choice of words aren't important. The tone of how you say something is much more important. Even the best field tested routines must be delivered in a certain tone and manner to work. The tone in which you say anything will determine how the girl will react to what you said. If you placed sarcasm into your tone, she will know it's a joke. If you start speaking like you're back in 4th grade while picking on her, she'll know you're flirting. It's all about the tone.

[Killikina]

Originally Posted by Express2

I have used it, but it can be case specific some girls don't like actors. (Think back to highschool was it the theatre kids getting laid or the jocks ... exactly) The real use of it is two fold: first, once you have have been in enough plays almost any opener can be tied to theatre and then you can easily stack to another routine. Second, there are A LOT of girls into theatre and not very many guys and most of the guys that are are gay. So there is very little competition, resulting in female friends that you can reference in passing to produce a jealousy plotline.

Ha ha, this reminded me of the good old high school days. I was in theatre and it's true, all the guys in there were either a) gay or b) stoners. Although we did get a couple of hot bad boys that thought it would just be an easy class to pass.

Theatre does, however, help with confidence and speaking in front of groups. It also helps in learning to project your voice and properly pronounciate your words. Voice is important! Remember that lots can be communicated just by the tone of your voice. It's quite a turn off for a girl when she finally speaks to a dude on the phone and he sounds girly or shy.

[azazels_wolf]

Express2:

Originally Posted by Express2

1st. Sarging in a character that is not congruent with your personality does not work well. Unless of course you are just making a minor adjustment, for example acting as a more outgoing version of yourself. If you try to be something your not it will show in real life, actors can get away with it on stage because they have rehearsed what they are going to say and how to say it over and over again.

I think the key here is the issue of "trying to be something you're not." It crosses the line into theories of personality.... Some say that effective characters, whether on stage or in movies or books, reflect us all. They are a mirror of some part of us. When people feel particularly drawn to, or understanding of, a certain character, they see their inner selves reflected in that outward manifestation.

Given that, it is also theorized that our personalities and selfhood are made up of different aspects, like facets of a gem. We are the sum of the parts. At times, certain aspects can be more prevalent than at other times, like when the light shines on a particular facet of a gem. Some facets, if repressed, may constantly be in the dark and we hardly recognize their existance until something traumatic happens to make them arise.

Characters or personality masks can be created by isolating a facet and magnifying it to the point where those outside of you only see that one facet until you reveal more.

Do you think it could be effective to take one of those isolated aspects and approach a target or set while "in character" in that regard? Would temporarily ignoring other facets amount to "being something you're not"?

Others here are also welcome to join in discussing this theory if you'd like to.

Originally Posted by Express2

first, once you have have been in enough plays almost any opener can be tied to theatre and then you can easily stack to another routine.

Yes, clever!

[azazels_wolf]

Revolver:

Well said!

Originally Posted by Revolver

As far as the girls in their natural social settings... They tend to mimic what is around them. I've been around girls that would act one way in front of their friends and then go all goo-goo eyes on me talking in a completely different tone and style later on when they're alone with me. Their social environment pressures their use of words and attitudes as they tend to feel that they must maintain a certain "fit-in" vibe with their clique.

Yeah, I've noticed this with guys too. It seems to happen a lot with body language and gestures as well. I think it boils down to memes (mental virii). Maybe a good example of those kinds of memes would be the body language and gestures prevalent within hip-hop culture...

Originally Posted by Revolver

If you are a confident man then you shouldn't need to break into some bullshit smooth talking lingo to hook up with a girl. It's just stupid.

LOL, too true!

Originally Posted by Revolver

I was in the Aura Lounge near Astor Place and there was one guy running his mouth calling every women in the lounge "Momma" as if it was cool. He would go and say things like "Hey momma, you wanna dance with this? Shake that thang fo me momma!" (yes, that's how some people speak and no, there are no typos)

EEEEEEWWWWWW. *gag* That's really bad. I can just see the women rolling their eyeballs! Great first impression!

Originally Posted by Revolver

The best way I could probably describe it online is just for you to speak in a manner that portrays confidence, calmness and clarity....It's all about the tone.

*nods*

Originally Posted by Revolver

Choice of words aren't important. The tone of how you say something is much more important.

I would say MOST of the time, but not ALL of the time. Some girls can get hooked for awhile if they find your choice of words to be particularly intriguing, i.e. not speaking like the other ordinary people they interact with. It makes you seem different, possibly special, and they want to figure it out for themselves.