Humorous Openers

[comus]

I have a question when it comes to an opener I've had dificulty finding a universal one. One that I could use in any situation which I'm guessing is the point of canned material so what should I do?

[Phaze]

I've always liked wearing sunglasses on your head, walk up to a set looking REALLY confused and ask them if they've seen your glasses. Play dumb. They'll laugh and tease you, it's all good

[Whimlar]

I like using this for shit and giggles but I'm so surprised some girls just don't get it. Anyway here it is,

You: Hey, I'm a professional interrupt. I see you guys having an intense conversation and I'm just here doing my job.

[comus]

Ok I have my first stack of canned material and if you could I would like you to critique it for me just so I know if I have the right idea.

open: Hello my name is Victor! (obviously not my name from ethnicity)
Time constraint: Body Rock
Neg: you're not anti-social are you?
Open: Girl who couldn't speak english opener
Neg: Can you speak english
Humor: you sound drunk!
Story: My last time at bahama mama story
Group: How do you guy's know each other?
Rapport:?
Disqualify: You know I actually don't like meeting girls in the club
Kino: Thumb wrestle
Neg: Ok I'm done, (hand throw) you're a cheater plus idk where ya hands been
Push-pull: When's the last time you had a manicure? Is it allways done professionally?
Appreciate: You have nice hands, I promise not to touch you though
story: Guy tried to touch me story
Qualify: you know you're mad cool, your breath is kinda hot though (smile calibrator)
appreciate:No seriously I would introduce you to my firends you may embaraas me though
Rapport?
Kino: Palm reading

[The_Jester]

My friend and I made up the Midget Opener a while ago.

So far, we've only managed to have about 10 minutes of banter with chicks about it. But one day fellas.....I'm going to close a chick I opened with a Midget line....I swear!

Check it out: The Midget Opener