Being In Love

[Doctor D]

I'm confused about this topic. I believe there is love, but I believe you can love your male friends and female friends or spouse. In my opinion, the only difference between good male friends and a male-female couple is sex, assuming heterosexuality. Any thoughts on this topic? Never been in a serious relationship myself. My AFC friends tell me it is different, they may be right or blind.

[azazels_wolf]

You can love ANYONE. But if you look at the ancient Greek idea of the concept of "love," you'll see that there are different kinds of love, as I explained earlier in the thread.

True love is non-needy and very joyful. It is not based on the validation-seeking or fear that permeates most interpersonal relationships. It's based on being and giving, rather than past, future, and taking.

Attachment and codependence are often mistaken for love, especially by AFCs. However, I feel that true love is more than the sum of its parts. The different aspects of love, combined together with intimacy, create states and possibilities that are not experienced in ordinary interactions. Lust alone does not accomplish this.

[c1Live1]

I agree and like the last question posed... I have a friend who I don't even consider a friend but rather a brother! Ill often say he is the only man that I honestly love (outside of blood) im sure we have all hear the joke "if you get thrown in jail a buddy will bail you out, but a true friend will be right there in that cell with you, laughing" ...or something along those lines. That's me and my boi. I won't even hesitate, he has my back, and I have his... simple as that. And we've proven this to eachother time and time again. I wouldn't have any man's interest such at hand unless they were that important to me... so yes, I say it IS possible to have love for a friend, of the opposite or SAME sex. (Brotherly love)

Now on the subject of that "other love" I can't even begin to put words to it without writing a whole volume of novels so im not going to try, but I will say something to touch on what was said above... there is a big difference between "sex" and "making love" IMO. I won't try to describe it for it is always different for each one involved, ill just say the very first time I ever made love... that shit was on a whole other level than mere sex. Transendent, wonderful, exciting, new, and just... emotional. For both of us-
I wouldn't trade that day for a million extra years in life, not ever.

[azazels_wolf]

Originally Posted by c1Live1

there is a big difference between "sex" and "making love" IMO. I won't try to describe it for it is always different for each one involved, ill just say the very first time I ever made love... that shit was on a whole other level than mere sex. Transendent, wonderful, exciting, new, and just... emotional. For both of us-
I wouldn't trade that day for a million extra years in life, not ever.

Completely agreed. And, taken even further, the potential for the experience of warm and healing transcendent BLISS.

[BTRD_020]

Love? Love it.

[diegomartinez6933]

Love is when you miss someone; When they're away and you feel pain. It's a

way to want to stay connected with someone who has value to you. You

don't feel it when your with them.

[Darwin001]

Love is a nominalization. It is a word used to describe a feeling, thus it is whatever we make it. There is no real way to differentiate what love really is so I interpret it as the indication of a pairbond taking place. With enough mutual investment with any HB soon we will find ourselves pairbonded and in love. It is best described as a process, the process of falling in love, or in scientific terms: The process of Pairbonding

[BTRD_020]

Originally Posted by diegomartinez6933

Love is when you miss someone; When they're away and you feel pain. It's a

way to want to stay connected with someone who has value to you. You

don't feel it when your with them.

That might be a subtle form of love, but when you're really full blown in love, you sure as hell do feel it when you're with the person. You feel warm, can't think straight and all you want to do is be as close to the other person as you can. It's a very intense experience actually.

[diegomartinez6933]

Originally Posted by BTRD_020

That might be a subtle form of love, but when you're really full blown in love, you sure as hell do feel it when you're with the person. You feel warm, can't think straight and all you want to do is be as close to the other person as you can. It's a very intense experience actually.

I agree, although I've never expierienced it before I have heard similar examples of love as what you describe it.

I speak from experience when I say that I've missed a girl for 6 months before I even knew about the game. I lost my virginity to her in therefore she had a huge amount of value to me. When I was away from her I did not feel "a subtle form of love". I thought about her all the time and when she moved away my chest callapsed and I cried for six months never daring to forget her, hoping that I would see her again.

Long story short I have seen her again and I'm even hanging out with her again; but the love that I felt is gone because she's here.

[Sir Stiffy]

I'd describe it as the greatest risk of all..
..for something very much worth it.