Being In Love

[Pipedreamz]

everyone has a different definition of love so its tough to really say. But its a great feeling to be in love... always being happy and enjoying every second of being with somebody.

[c1Live1]

i know this is an old thread so just call me the 2nd coming cuz im bringing back the dead...

this is funny to me, the whole talk of "love" ... IMO "love" is a pain in the ass! and yet, its great cuz it's different with everyone, every time. Take my example... the one... and ONLY girl I've EVER "loved" I am still friends with but because of out past, and her current situation with her LTR and her being on a "break" and such, she and I are talking a lot more, and things are going back to "the way they use to be" and bla de bla bla bla... she won't tell me thing, or WILL tell me things for the specific sake of trying NOT to hurt my "feelings" Awww how cute, "feelings" lol. And I do the same with my situation with my girls that I "hang out with"...

We try to get past all the BS. but "deep down" we both still feel quite deeply for eachother, whe have "connected" as they say, and yeah i know how "gay" im sounding right now... but ya know wha... I dont give a shit, cuz this is the reality of MY reality, and thats the only one that counts

so love complicates things you see... for the better, for the worst, for all of it. When its all said and done, and her LTR is long gone, and she's possibly moved on to another, and I'm still over here doing my thang... she and I will still be the best of friends, simply cuz thats what we both want. Why? Cuz... we have what the Greek called "Agape" and that my friends is a beautiful thing.

[Ghostwolf]

Love is a beautiful, sublime, incredible and transcendent PHYSICAL process.

But like all physical processes, it can be manipulated, and influenced by your concious WILL.

That is the school of thought that I hope all PUAs adopt.

I've screwed up once by falling for a 9.2 I'd picked up, and by falling, I lost my willpower day by day.

I won't claim to know the answer for the inherent dilemma that rises from this battle of will vs. love.

Because I don't

--Ghostwolf

[c1Live1]

Nicely put...

In short, I feel its up to the indavidual to decide. I never believed in love, till it happend to just one day smack me in the face. But, just as I fell into it, I climbed back out of it and realized it IS something along the lines of what you mentioned, and what others mention... and as I said just earlier in this reply, I've decided to keep myself "open" to a close friendship with this girl because I like her still and having her in my life (for the time being at least) makes it just that much better... so in the end, its your choice, to each his own-

[azazels_wolf]

The most sublime, incredible, healing, and transcendent experiences I've ever had with love involve surrender....indeed NECESSITATE surrender in order to happen. Surrendering to my partner, and to the love itself.... while using Will to quiet my mind and to guide the energies between us.

But it's a paradoxical surrender..... it's not helplessness or giving up your own will. It's not about losing your power or your will. It's about coming into your true power, and using the Will of a god.

I know this sounds wierd, or difficult to understand... but I'm talking about relationships that go beyond the ordinary.... and a type of lovemaking that goes far beyond the concept of lust. Very loving friendships can go in that direction as well.

[c1Live1]

Wow... that's some powerful chet right there wolf lol... and I tend to agree cuz it matches parts of my personal experience... well put my friend.

[azazels_wolf]

Originally Posted by c1Live1

Wow... that's some powerful chet right there wolf lol...

It is.... it goes beyond my ability to describe it in words.

Originally Posted by c1Live1

and I tend to agree cuz it matches parts of my personal experience... well put my friend.

Thanks.... and anyone that gives you that experience is worth keeping in your life. They are worthy of your attention.

[Prophet]

This is a great thread so I'm moving it to the Best Of section (cudos to Azazels_wolf for nominating it).

I think too many aspiring PUAs or recovering AFCs associate the concept of "love" too closely with oneitis and are thus quick to discard it as an AFC behaviour.

After the horrific AFC relationship that prompted me to join the community, I never thought I would fall in love again. I had thought I loved my AFC girlfriend, but after joining the community I realized that what I felt was merely codependence. I realized that I had associated love with pain and heartache and I decided that I wanted nothing to do with it all and this was compoinded by my subsequent learnings about the evolutionary and biological causes of love.

This is a very common transition for many PUAs to go through. I have heard this story many, many times.

Sadly however, a large number of PUAs never go through the second transition that comes after. A transition that occurs when you start seeing successes with incredible women who you value for their personality and character as well as their bodies.

Suddenly realize that you truly love these amazing women that are in your life.

I always heard Mystery say that he loved all the women he took to bed with him. I used to think that it was just a quaint little way to cover his ass as a Pick-Up Artist. But now I see that he was being quite serious. When the game stops being an issue of validation through the number of lays we have had or the fullfillment of our lustfull urges, we find that we just cant help but love these incredible women that we allow to take us to bed.

It's no longer codependence, neediness, or that all too common need to be loved that AFCs so often mistake as true love. It's a warm and unselfish and joy-filled love that you just cant help but want to share with those who make you feel it.


- Prophet

P.S. never, EVER bury your emotions inside and pretend like they don't exist (as was advised earlier in this thread). You need to acknowledge your emotions and embrace and indulge them in order to maintain a balanced and healthy emotional state.

[oddball]

well put prophet.

ive felt this feeling once, back in my afc days. afterwards i felt like shit, had her on my mind what i did wrong. didnt think id be able to move on.

then i found the community (with some help) relised that i was dreaming, she never felt the same way. and i moved on. with some encouragement and alot of reading. i feel that one day soon i might feel it again

[Deft9]

Maybe it's a part of the pair-bonding process.

I think AFCs with one-itis often confuse their feelings for love. A lot of times the girl doesn't even like them that way. I don't think you can be in love with somebody you don't even know on an intimate level.