Was too 'nice' on first date, sexual tension lost?

[Lucas]

Hey guys,

This is my first post on this forum, and I was hoping you could help me out. Recently a HB8,5 broke up with her boyfriend. I've known her for a few months before this, but their relationship was always shitty and there's always been sexual tension between us. Two weeks ago we had a party at our house where I also had a girlfriend (HB8) there who was spending the week with me as she's from the other side of our planet and spends summers touring Europe, where I live. When the HB8,5 found out I had a girl in my bed that night anyway, and thus I was preapproved by this girl, she started coming on to me bigtime, which eventually led to her pulling me into the bathroom and making out with me. This happened three times, I even put my hand down her pants and she made no objections at all..

Well anyways, my girlfriend was hanging out with my roommates in a different room, and there were like 60 people there so nobody noticed me and HB8,5 coming out of the bathrooms at any time. So when the HB8 leaves my places and continues her trip I start texting the HB8,5 and after a week we meet up for drinks which eventually developed into a late dinner. I'd started the texts with telling her she should come over to my place etc but she insisted on going out for drinks probably just as an ASD.

Now comes the problem, when we were on the date, everything actually went good, she just kept on talking and we had fun together. Had a little kino but it couldn't escalate as we were sitting opposite to each other, and it seemed that the longer we were together, the more sexual tension began to evaporate. I eventually brought her to the bus she had to take home as she lives in a town nearby my city, and kind of went for the kiss, but she turned her head so I landed it on her cheek.

I feel like I lost the initiative and now have to chase her, while she was chasing me beforehand. This is a problem I have more often when going on dates, I become a really nice guy which leads to less sexual tension. This is the exact opposites from when I'm at parties or clubs where I get kino escalation and f-closes. But the only relationships I manage to get is with girls with whom it started out with as a ONS while with the most attractive girls I could #-close or k-close but I'd have to go on a date later on...

So, any advice on keeping a high level of sexual tension on dates? I'm a novice in the community but not socially awkward at all and I've read a lot about seduction. Any help would be great!

[leonidise]

Hi,

I'm running into the same problem... I'm going to try a freeze out and see if that will reignite the push pull dynamic. Really have to be carefull when in comfort, easy to launch into the niceguy 'afc' stuff and get blown out. Its a fine line for sure.

Worse thing you can do is chase her. you might have pulled a fools mate and you didn't have enough comfort before you started fooling around with her. The great thing is thier are lots of other women around if the set is totally f'ed.

Hey man, sounds like you had a close call. Three times in the bathroom ... Maybe she was sending you a message, like whip your jonny out lol ... Neways, good job getting that far. But how efficient are you at just CLOSING the deal, cos you say you usually get f-closes but it seems like you dont recognise opportunities, club or no club ... first mistake you made was sitting opposite her which would have made kino almost non existent, then the fact that you went for the kiss without escalating and leading into it was another one. Mate, do you even know what sexual tension is?

It would have been better to leverage the "sexual tension" on the night you guys were in the bathroom three times and gone for the close.

Day 2 - should have worked on solid comfort material with calculated kino escalation and a strong logistical plan.

Kino is key ingredient to sexual tension. If you're gonna take her somewhere, make sure the set up encourages strong kino and you work out the logistics, eg. Distance back to your pad.

Btw,it couldn't have gone too well if she just kept on talking ... Women sometimes do this as a nervous response or because they feel your being too quiet and they're bored. I dunno, i weren't there. Next time, don't let her do all the talking. You want to be taking her on a journey with all your cool stories and leading her.. Also there should be more of a balance. If she was talking I'm sure her conversation wasn't anything to do with how she wanted you to take her to look at the new painting back at your pad or show her your new pet chipmunk, or the new poem you wrote which is in your 'book of a thousand poems', thats sits on your coffee table in a brown leather bound journal. The thing is ... If you had done more talking, you could have easily done all of he above and MORE!!! Well, my point is ... Her doing ALL the talking = she owns the frame ... she's leading. You talking = create an entire magical world to lead her imagination, set a dominant frame with you as the authority in her life, plant, seed and convey emotions and the fact that you recognise and appreciate a part of her that goes beyond her beauty.

It's all well and good that you had fun, but you can have fun till the cows come home and still not get any pussy!

Always operate with an outcome in mind my friend.

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk HD

[leonidise]

good advice forsure