Cocky-Funny Collection

[alexjx]

Good thread

[COKi]

"This is why we cant have nice things" <---genius!!!!!1!ones
"this is when you say yes" after kneeling beside her to tie your shoe lace." <---Also genius!!!!!1!!ones

[rememberthis]

Her: *compliments*
You: I'm not just a piece of meat you know *shove her*
Her: *giggles*
You: Here, you can have a hug though *hug* that's all you get for now though and back off

Worked this one all week and it's been money! They move in closer to you as soon as you move away. If they move in really close you can say

You: listen, I think this is very early in our relationship... *slightly move her back* ... *smile at her* ... do you know how to cook?
Her: *laughs* they do every time I've done this
You: You're amazing, come here *grab her hand*

[rememberthis]

Btw, I loved the kneeling "this is when you say yes" one!!!!!

[Shamrocks]

...I'm absolutely stealing a ton of these...thanks...

- Shamrocks -

[Laust]

Get your wingman to come over to you and say:

"Awww you two look good together.."

Hug her and say:

"Yeah.. we do..."

Then push her off and say:

"Too bad she's not my type! But don't worry, we'll find her someone. Like that guy over there.."

[abc_thriller]

You: I suppose you're going to be rich & famous someday'
Her: IDK probably not.
You: See that's why we can never be a couple.

~or~

Her: Of course
You: (looking up toward Heaven) Thank you!




Her: You're sweet
You: Hey if you want sweet get a candy bar

Her: You're funny
You: Like a clown? Maybe I ought to charge you a fee

Her: Men are like buses: If you don't like one, another will be along soon enough
You: Hey this bus can take you anywhere you want to go, babe


You: What's new in your neck of the woods?
Her: Nothing much
You: You actually live in the woods?


She gets you a drink or something to eat
You: Thanks. You're the best wife I never had.


Her: I have a boyfriend
You: ...and you're not tired of him yet?

Her: I have a boyfriend
You: Yeah? Well I don't. Wanna talk about it?

This works better if you know her: You approach a HB with a baby, or small child
You: ( not making eye contact)I just got to say you have the most pretty smile I've ever seen.
Her: Thanks
You: No, I was talking to the kid

You: (seeing no ring on her hand) So you're single?
Her: Yep
You: Looks like my lucky charm works. Cool deal

Her: Kiss my ass
You: Not yet....I don't know you that well.

~or
You: You're facing the wrong way.

~or
You: Let's go grab dinner first.

~or
You: Okay, but it's $5 dollars for the first 20 minutes.

~or
You: Why should I do you any favors?
(These also work if she says,"Bite me")


Her: I really don't like chocolate (or anything else she doesn't like)
You: That's okay. You can stay on our planet.

~or
You: It's cool. You're entitled to your wrong opinion

You: I'm picky, right?
Her: I don't know/ I have no idea
You: See, that's why we should meet. Then you could answer that question