My Six lessons learnt in bar

[Glamor]

I have entered into the game for 2 years and more, part-time. I seldom sarge, but I only focus on Daygame, online game, and Phone and Text game. Tonight is an exception, because it was the birthday of my ex-flirt “girlfriend”, and I know there will be a few pretty girls going.

There were 9 girls tonight. 3 of them are my targets. I was so nervous, ‘cause I want so badly to be good. So when I was on the way, I listened to my Self-Hypnosis voice memo which is about abolishing Approach Anxiety. I had listened for twice on the train, and I arrived late. When I arrived, 3 girls said that they were going to leave (one of them is one of my targets). So I had learnt the first lesson from this:

- Never arrive too late

Then, there were 6 girls left. I’ll call them A, B, C, D E, F. A is my ex-flirt “girlfriend”. A and B are best friends. A,B,C,D are my previous friends but not close friends, and E & F are new girls that I just got to know them tonight. A,B,E,F are classmates. My targets are A and F. But due to the reason I am not sure how to attract two girls at the same time, I plan to focus on F first, because F is more beautiful than A, but I like A as well. Tonight is a celebration of A’s birthday. They were hanging around in the street, thinking which bar to go, they had spent a lot of time thinking it.. I tried to give one opinion, and said something like “Hey, this bar is quite good, let’s choose this one.” But A said: “No, this bar seems weird, I don’t wanna go to this one.” And I did not give any more opinions. My second lesson is:

- I should always give opinions, even good or bad opinions, better than saying nothing or say a little bit. This is because it showed lack of Leadership. And I did not think I have any at the moment, I thought that this is because I don’t do Night game, I don’t know which bar should I recommend, so I should prepare some choices next time anyway.

So, they were still standing there, were making no decision, so I tried to make fun on A: “So let’s just go to the WEIRD BAR which YOU said, alright?” I was just making fun, but A was very serious. She was angry and she gave me bad response. F asked A not to be angry. It brought me a low social value at that moment. My third lesson is:

- NEVER neg your obstacle (A), be friendly to her, otherwise she’ll TRY HER BEST TO BULLY YOU

After that I tried to be more friendly, I talked to all of them, I looked into the eyes of A, asked if A wanted to go to that bar or another. We decided to go to the “weird bar” as mentioned above. F talked to me, she asked me few questions like: “Are we going to stay on the ground floor or will go to upstairs?” I knew I have to ignore my target, I tried my best not to look in her eyes and response to her, but if I totally ignored all of her friendly questions, it seemed so impolite. So I gave a short response.

We all sat down, and I continued to ignore my target F. The music is SO LOUD here, when I talked to my left side, my right side could not be able to hear my voice. So it was hard to drew all of their attention and talked to all of them at the same time. So I talked to B and C first. I played some little games with B, and then C; Told them about some psychological meanings of these games (DHV), but my target F and E didn’t seem that they could hear what I was saying, so my target F did not give any good response to my DHV. After that, I talked to E and F, and DHV to them like how I did to B and C. I acted cocky and funny, when F acted cool or did not give me good response or tried to make jokes on me; I made jokes on F and continue to talk to E. After some negs (I am not sure if I had gave too many negs to my target, or if I had neg my target after she gave me more than 3 IOIs, but I am sure my negs were not harsh), and photo routines (I showed F my beautiful model ex-girlfriends), it worked, F started to give me quite many IOIs, like she kept on exchanging mine and her drinks, and said: “Give me five, yeah!” to me for twice. And she even gave me an SOI, Statement of Interest, telling me that: “Oh, you’re Pisces?!?! I love to get along with Pisces!!!”. I thought I probably had reached the hook point. I should move her now. BUT I failed to do so. Why? I HESITATED FOR A FEW SECONDS. My forth lesson is:

- It is a SPEED GAME. Few seconds are ALREADY ENOUGH for you to ruin your game, hook point is an opportunity, and your opportunity could be GONE in one second. I SHOULD NOT hesitate in ANY second.

My fifth lesson is:

- Next time I should LOCK IN the target after hook point to make sure that we still have reasons to interact even she was leaving for a while

So E and F had gone to smoke, within the whole process above, I didn’t talk to A because she seemed so angry and aggressive. So now, I tried to attract the obstacle A to make a better atmosphere. I played the same games with her, but she gave me bad responses: “I don’t believe in these stuffs, I believe in genes.” So after a moment, I went out to find E and F. I talked to them, but I could feel that the atmosphere already changed. The hook point had gone. I thought I have to re-establish the relationship, but it was really hard. I ran out of my canned materials, I couldn’t keep talking only about all psychology game analysis stuffs because I knew that they already started to get bored with these stuffs. I have to say something else. I tried to say something, guess their major subjects, but these topics are so boring. So I said: “Alright, so I got to go back to my friends, talk later.” Here I had learnt my sixth lesson:

- Be well prepared every time you sarge

After a while, A went out with E and F. I guessed that A does not like me, because I had made a joke to her tonight and I did not show her much. I guessed that A should have said something bad behind me to E and F. So when A,E,F came back, E and F seemed start to ignore me.

When we left the bar, we saw 2 beautiful ladies who were sitting outside the bar. I said to B and C: “Hey look, one of that lady looks like Angelababy (one of the top Hong Kong young models).” When B and C started to discuss (good responses), A,E,F were standing together whispering, and A said: “If you have the courage you should probably have approached her and be talking to her; Otherwise you just don’t have to say anything.” And A,E,F started to laugh. I remained silence, pretended that I couldn’t hear anything and I kept on talking to B and C. A,E,F said that they had to go to the bank to get some money, and they asked me, B and C to go to the restaurant first. After we arrived the restaurant for a while, C received a call from A. C said A,E,F had already leave. A told her that, it was time to leave, and so E and F had left too.

When me, B and C were leaving, we were supposed to leave together ‘cause we were going to take the same bus. But, B was texting with someone, she said her friend was asking if she and C would like to join their party now, I said: “Okay, then let’s go.” However, B said her “friend” only asked B and C to go. So I said: ”Alright, so I’ll go now.” B is a polite person, she said: “We’ll meet soon, let’s go for some nice food next time.” My heart was whispering, I thought that their “friend” is A. I thought that A was trying to bully me, so maybe she was bouncing all of the girls away and made me have to leave.

Fuxk that, it felt really bad at that moment. I will NEVER neg my obstacle ever again.

Mystery is right. If you could win their friends, you win the girl.
I failed to make friends with ALL of my obstacles, so I lost the girl. And I understand about my faults.

Finally, although I did not get F and had a little bit bad feelings, but I DO learnt a lot tonight.

[Phelim]

I also prefer daygame because of the higher quality of women.

Be careful with negs, they’re hard to calibrate and will backfire on average-looking girls who will interpret them as insults. Negs are mostly for 9/10’s.

I notice you have a technical textbook approach. That’s really good, however, you may be overthinking it too much. This often happens to smart guys, and it can get you stuck in your head wondering what you should've said, what you're going to say next, etc.

Another approach, so-called ‘natural game,” would be good for you to try. It just consists of you being a fun, masculine guy. Smile, touch the girls a little, tell some routines, just do whatever makes you have fun. And be sure to lead—this conveys masculinity.

I was so nervous, ‘cause I want so badly to be good"

This is a problem called 'outcome dependence' that'll increase your anxiety, neediness, and ruin your sub-communications. Try as much as possible to be indifferent to how things turn out. Lots of instructors will tell you that their best interactions were with girls they weren't trying to pick up. This is why many will emphasize the concept of ‘self-amusement,’ basically just having fun and not worrying which particular girls are attracted and which are not.

Good report. Good luck.

[Glamor]

As you’ve mentioned, negs are mostly for 9/10’s. However, due to the Chinese culture in Hong Kong, girls don’t seen themselves as their objective ranking. E.g some 6.5 may seen themselves as 7.5 etc. It may because of they also have many men to approach them..

So how would you deal with these girls?

Should I neg her like 9 /10’s if she SEEN HERSELF as 9/10’s?

[madcaptravels]

my bar game is a bit like this:

1) arrive not too early or late at the venue

2)when I order my first drink I am in a vibing, social mood -WATCH OUT FOR GIRLS WHO COME UP TO THE BAR TO ORDER AT THE SAME TIME AS YOU - this is almost always an IOI! ask them what they are drinking, if they are hoping to have an awesome night etc.

3)circulate, mingle, open

4)vibe on the dance floor

5)re-initiate with girls you opened earlier - by this time you will see who is keen

6)THE GOLDEN WINDOW - there is a time later in the evening, when people are most relaxed, but not too tired or drunk yet - choose your girl (from earlier) and make a move

7)USE THE DANCEFLOOR! you can escalate very easily and its the easiest way to get a one night stand.