WTF happeden to "The Friend-zone"?! (Pretty lengthy)
Alright guys, first post. Im confused.
First of all I want to apologize for any spelling or grammar mistakes my post might have. But bear with me, English isn’t my first language. Second, I want to say that this is more out of pure interest and confusion that I’m writing you. Not because I need advice, just explanation. Third, I personally enjoy lengthy posts. I hate it when people just write a couple of lines about the situation, and just leave you to fill in all the blanks. I have also noticed that those posts rarely get any replies.
With that out of the way I’ll get to the point. 2 days ago I made out with my very best female friend. And I have neither a reason why or how.
Underneath comes a shitload of information about what happened, I have taken all of what I think might be relevant, and this is what I could cut it down to. Hope you won’t skip it all.
Im fairly tall, slim, and look fairly healthy, I enjoy working out, and I play basketball a lot.
This girl, Emma (Yes, I’m not writing HBSomeShit, cus she isn’t gonna read it. And I wouldn’t call her a hot babe. She is slim and pretty, but on the usual scales no more than a 6.5 or 7. But she is one of those rare girls whose looks you can accept because of a nice personality. And I also don’t want to objectify her like that.) I met thru her cousin (a female, damn you English) whom I go to school with. And we just met one day randomly when they were hanging. We talked for the entire evening. We were both good listeners, and talkers. We got each other on facebook and started chatting on a daily basis. Soon we started talking on the phone about once a week and more or less told everything about each other.
We both have huge confidence in the other. Maybe partially cus we live about 125 kilometers apart. So we have nearly no mutual friends who she could share this with. And she shared all of her personal secrets and stuff like that with me. And I might be a little cocky to say this (bare with me ) but I’m fairly sure I know more about her than any of her female friends, cus much of it is about them. You know what I mean.
A while ago her best female friend called me and told me she wanted me to give her a gift for her confirmation. (And this might leave you thinking “How old is she?!”.. I’m a pretty mature 15 year old, so is she). She wanted to give her a book with a picture of everyone who meant something to Emma, and then make them write a couple of lines about what she meant to them.
I think that might be enough background for you to want to get to the point. But as I told you, I like them lengthy, and assume some may do the same. And I also want an answer as accurate as possible, therefore all this text.
So a little about our relationship and stuff like that:
I like her as a friend. She is more or less in my friend-zone. But I’m a male, so my friend-zone is not as defined and a little easier to get in and out of (I think you know what I mean). But she is literally my best female friend. And she knows every single little insecurity that I have had the last 8 months or so (scary if you think about it). And I really have had no romantic feelings towards her at any point. Not that I the thought haven’t crossed my mind, but that romantic feeling have never been there.
I also have huge loyalty to her and to our friendship (as I have to any of my friends).
Now to the real situation:
I got a call Thursday night while I was playing some computer with my friends. It was from Emma. She invited me in a very insecure way to a party she held in her house Friday.
It went something like this:
E: Uhm, im just calling cus I wanted to invite you to a party tomorrow.
V: aigth, cool, at your place or what?
E: Yeah, I mean, you don’t need to go If you don’t want to. But I just wanted to invite you if you could come by.
V: Hm, I’d very much like to come, I need some change, this holiday thing gets boring in the long run. So a little trip to the big city (Copenhagen) would be nice.
And other stuff, nothing I think has any value to you.
When I returned to the computer I had recived a message on facebook from a friend of hers, it said (translated):
Emma don’t dare ask you herself, but I think you two should get together this weekend!
So I think you should come by tomorrow, Emma is hosting a party, there is bed space and all.
All of Emmas sweet friends want to meet you, she has talked a lot about you. Hope to see you there, chao.”
So the following morning I packed my toothbrush, an extra pair of boxers, headphones, condoms, 16-year-old-ID (So I could buy alcohol) and all the other utilities. And left around 16:00
I arrived around 20:30 and she and a friend picked me up at the train-station. I kicked up normal conversation and storytelling, with both her and her friend. The weather was great, and she lives in a big suburban house with sea-view and all that other expensive shit. When we came to her house we chatted a while, then her friends came by. I greeted them all with a smile, I didn’t know any of them, but I have an outgoing personality and soon befriended everyone both male and female. I had no plan to train any pick-up game that night because I thought it could make things awkward if I made out with any of her friends.
So I just mingled as usual, they wanted a bonfire. So I started a bonfire, got a little alpha and started bossing a little around with people in a friendly way. Soon I had the fire burning, and my frame as the dominant male of the four present set. Everything worked out just great.
When the fire went out, we went in and brought forth the booze. I’m a guy who can take a lot, and drank some shots with almost everyone there, started pouring drinks and stuff like that.
As people get a little tipsy something suspicious happens. Emma leaves the room we sat in for a moment, as soon as she had left some of the girls leaned in and said that I should try to kiss her, and that she had talked a lot about me. I didn’t really think about what they had said until now. (Quick info: We where around 17-20 people that night) I had gotten pretty drunk, I was conscious of what I where doing, but still fairly drunk. This is where it happens.
We go to the kitchen to get something for the others, and her friend follows along. We were looking for it for a while, and then someone called the friend out. As soon as that door said “click” the atmosphere in the room changed from ‘friendly’ to ‘suppressed romance’. She started eyeing me, and poked me with her elbow. And I said:
V: Don’t be annoying (teasing of course)
E: Im noooot annoying..
She then walked right up to me, hugged me, dragged my face down to her (she’s quite shorter than me) and started making out with me???!!?!?!?!??!? Here is what I thought in that moment:
“Wow.. WTF? Uhm, I’m making out with Emma? Shiiit.. This is not good.. She is a great kisser though. Should I push her away? Nah, that would make things awkward.. WOW! She is really an awesome kisser… Wtf now, I’m getting a boner? Hmm, she looks great tonight. Mhmm….”
And I just let go of logic and started kissing back, took the lead and pushed her against the wall while I was kissing her, she started grabbing my ass while the other hand was in my hair. I did much of the same to her, I noticed that all the while she had her eyes closed and looked kinda exited (to use a more common word: Horny). And every time our lips broke contact she gasped for air a little before she went in for more.
I decided it was getting too much and said: “We better get out to the others” took her hand and squeezed it a little before opening the door.
10 minutes later we were isolated again, this time in the bedroom. Soon as the door closed she walked up to me and started going at it. I decided to just carpe diem and kiss back. I put her down on the bed all the while kissing her, on the mouth for the most part, but also on what where available of her boobs, her neck and nipped her ears once or twice. Then comes something interesting; between the kisses she said “Ohh.. Why do you live so far away, I missed you”. (Quick info: She is a virgin) I decided not to reply and just keep up the kissing. Then I started feeling a little resistance, and I got my common sense back and rolled over on my back. She didn’t say or do anything before I stood up and helped her on her feet.
An hour or so passed without anything happening, and we barely spoke. Then one of the guys suddenly called me over to the sofa where she sat along with her and some others and he just said. “Kiss Emma”.
I approached with a look of slight confusion. Not knowing whether Emma would commit to the kissing in front of her friends, she then got out of the sofa and made out with me a little. When I felt that people had gotten what they asked for I pulled back and sat down.
Half an hour passed, we got isolated again. I could see something where bothering her. So I said what I knew she was thinking “This kissing thing..” And she followed up with “Is not really good for our friendship” I played it cool and said “Nah, we have both gotten a little more sober. We better quit it.”
At that time we were about to go to bed, I said goodnight, and went to sleep fairly quick.
I woke up the next morning. Everything seemed normal. I helped clean up, she followed me some of the way home and neither of us mentioned anything about the kissing, at all. On the train home I sat confused, asked my friend about it. He was clueless. So now I’m turning to you guys for an answer. Why did she kiss me when I was so sure we where “just friends”. And do you think it is because she has feelings for me, or just because I was the guy she liked the most at the party and she wanted to get it on that night?
(PS. Just to remind, what im going to do is my own decition. But i would like to know what you think, it would really help me a lot to get your thoughts on this)
ok so you meet a girl . you guys get along great. you vibe well and you're attracted to her for more than her looks... and you're confused as to why she wanted to hookup!?!?!?
-Been handling the game so long my thumbs bruised (2003-present)
Hehe, that reply got me thinking: "This must be how girls feel when their guy friends try to hook up with them". But we never had any kind of attraction for each other, other than that of good friends. Never any kind of romantic connection. We have never flirted or any thing like that. That's why it confuses me.
|friend, reltionship, zone|
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