I'm down in the dumps, need some advice

[Stazza]

This is long and possibly complicated, but I'll try my hardest to be short and concise.

The girl is a ridiculously good looking HB10, 24 years old, has a great job, quite mature, and has a sense of humour. Her ex BF's are drug addicts and trouble makers, both of whom I know personally. The latest guy she dated was secretly having a kid to another chick. So basically, she has a horrible track record with guys. She clearly digs 'bad boys'. Her group of friends is also probably %80-85 male, some of which I am on good terms with and know personally.

I'm no 'bad boy', I've never done drugs or get in trouble with the law, but I have the badboy look I guess - Covered in tatts - Arms/fingers/hands/chest/back/throat/neck tattooed, drive a supercharged V8, play guitar in a hard rock band, but I don't live the lifestyle.

Anyway, I've known her for quite a while, but only on a "hey, how ya doing" basis if I saw her out and about. I've known her sister for years, but not close with her, but her best chick friend I am really good friends with, but I dont hang with her often either.

Here's how we first started to get into contact:

In December to January of last year I was seeing a girl, and she had a long relationship history with a bikey dude. They had been broken up for 6 or so months, but Bikeys think they will always 'own' their girls. So he was still speaking to her on a fairly constant basis. He was also dating this chick that this thread is about. Anyway, after the 2 months I called it off, the dude was being a douche, I wasn't too into the chick because of her history with him, so we parted ways.

They are now dating again. So the girl he was dating, who this thread is about, added me to facebook. I knew her from around where I live, as stated earlier, but not very well, never really 'heard' anything about her.

We spoke occasionally over the next month or two, and I did see her at the pub and she let off some vibes that she was interested in me, but she was with her sis and her friend and I also had to go, so I gave her my number and left.

She didn't txt me, but I did speak to her over facebook ocasionally, nothing noteworthy. Anyway, my birthday came along and she didnt wish me a happy birthday, so jokingly I gave her a hard time on facebook and she said she will have a surprise for me. She said this for a week or so, and I guessed what it'd be (my faveorite cake), and cause I guessed it, she said the surprise will now be when I get it. So basically, she was playing a game and probably had no intention of getting this cake.

A week or so more went on, and a chick friend of mine and I set our relationships as married on facebook. Instantly, she has jumped on FBchat and said "Hey!!!, hows things? etc...", then "oh I noticed youre in a relationship, nice work!". Who the fuck says 'nice work'? lol keep in mind she rarely EVER initiates conversation, I always initiate it with her.

Anyway, I told her it was a joke between a friend and I. After that she's been talking to me more often. I noticed she always adresses me as "mate" or "champ" - fucking annoying, I hate that, but she has loads of guy friends, so it's understandable.

Fastforward 'til last week, I invited her out for a drink, she accepted. She is usually "out with the boys/busy/cant tonight/cant this week", always makes me feel in the friend zone, and shes quite unresponsive when I try to game her, but for some reason said yes about this little 'date'.

She somehow knew where I lived, came and picked me up and we went out.

She was super nervous, I thought this was weird because she is ALWAYS around guys. We got a drink, she offered to pay, I accepted for the first round. We chatted for an hour and a half, and these are the few things that I noticed, and impressed me:

*The whole time she was %110 focussed on me. Listened to every word I said, asked me to elaborate on every story I had, laughed, was genuinely interested in what I was saying
*Didn't check her phone ONCE, didn't even look at it to check the time
*Didn't speak about her ex bf's. They were briefly mentioned, because I know them, but she breezed over it and didn't seem hung up at all. No baggage there that I could see
*Didn't endlessly ramble on about herself at all. She spoke about herself when we were talking about similar situations we had been in, and when I asked about her.

She was SO damn cool, we got along so well. The whole time I made sure to sit leaning 'away' from her on the couch, almost facing her completely, but making sure to keep it comfortable.

She didn't come across as an 'easy' girl. Very intelligent and well spoken.

Also, on the way to the venue she said in the car that before she came to pick me up that she frantically phoned around to cake shops and bakeries looking for my fave cake before she picked me up so she could surprise me, but couldn't find the cake. I thought that was fuckin' sweet.

Anyway, after a while we left, she had to head home and pick her Mum up from the airport.

When we were leaving she said she had a great night, was fun, really enjoyed herself, and that we should do it again soon. I was super casual, not needy or like "yeah! yeah! that would be soooo amazing!", was just casual and agreeable.

About an hour later she sends me a FB message saying "hey stranger", but I wasn't on fb, left it online so I didn't reply.

The next morning at 6.30am she txts me when she gets to work. This is the txts:

*we were joking about how crap workplace coffee is the previous night*
Her: Proper expresso, mmm
Me (3 hours later): Haha pfffft expresso, I just poured myself a mild roast, 2 sugars, 2 percent milk, om nom nom
Her: Haha I just made one too, extra strong. I need the kick! How are you feeling today?
Me: Nice! did you have a late one last night? I'm feeling gooood had a pretty average sleep though, but nothing the mild roast wont fix ;-) how about yourself?

..No reply. That was friday morning, it's now Monday. Why would she start the conversation but never keep it going?

I was with her best chick friend tonight celebrating the anniversary of our other friends passing. Her chick mate txted her from my phone saying this:

Me: Hey I'm at the *pub* with Nikki (her best friend I was hanging with) having drinks for Johnny's anniversary, what are you doing? We should catch up this week sometime.
Her: Hey mate. Oh nice, sorry busy tonight. Have fun though and have double shots of water on my behalf :-P (I recently had surgery and couldnt drink, and I joked to her the other night that I could only drink shots - double shots of water)
Me: Haha no dramas, don't worry I'm living on the edge tonight, already had some triple shots ;-) have a good night, see ya when I'm lookin at ya :-)

No reply from her...

The reason I'm so hung up on this is - I hook up with a lot of girls, but I never really get emotional with any, because to be honest, I don't often meet many girls that 'do it' for me emotionally, and I'm not keen on a relationship, because I've been burned in the past several times. But this one night with this girl made me feel good, she was something different to the usual girls I hang out with. She gave a shit about what I said, she listened to every word I said. I didn't have to 'game' her when we hung out to get her attention, I was just myself, so comfortable. I've always said I don't want a relationship, but when I get in one, it will be with a girl that changed my mind about not wanting to be in a relationship. Not 'cause I'm lonely and wan't a gf, but because this girl ticked all the boxes.

Can someone see what I've done wrong? I asked her chick friend if she's always like this with guys, her friend said "no, she's usually just hanging out with friends, and has occasionally had serious relationships, but rarely ever hooks up with guys and never goes on dates"

Have I taken her out of her comfort zone, 'cause I'm so different to her previous guys and the guys she hangs with, and shes uncomfortable after thinking about it?

It sucks, she really ticked all the boxes for me.

What's my next move, if any move at all?

Also, my facebook is stupidly busy, always getting girls and some friends posting funny random shit on my wall, could she have seen this and it turned her off?

[Alacrity]

Window of oppurtunity may be closing fast. If your're gonna game a girl then game her. She supplicating, focusing on you. Go for kino, go for kisses so she knows what you're doing. All this uncertainity.... Wait for a high point in conversation and , triangular gaze, and kiss her. She may be exploring other prospects if you havn't closed by now, try an SOI and that may get things on track.

Basically it sounds like this one is so important you are forgeting your game. Getting "The Girl" is just like getting "a girl" it's just more pressure in your head. Relax, SOI, and see what happens.

oh yeah, Preselection doesn't turn women off.

[Stazza]

Thanks for the reply man. I got the vibe that when we hung out last that I could've quite easily kissed her or possibly more, but she had to pick her mum up from the airport (she stated this before we even caught up, and I know for a fact it wasn't an exit play excuse for her). So I was planning in escalating further with her next time we hung out, but I'm havin trouble actually initiating the next catch up.

I'm not sure what my next move is, or how o play it. My last text to her when I was at the pub with her friend was saying we should catch up some time this week, and she completely ignored that in her reply... Is there another way I can hit her up for another drink without sounding needy or repeating myself? How should I play my next move to get the ball rolling again?

[Alacrity]

Am I reading this right?

theres this real possesive guy, and you dated his ex and they are now back together and his next ex came on strong to you

I would guess shes given up on you by now, if shes not responding to invites to meet up. Perhaps you took to long to kiss her. By the way, how does her having to pick up her mom stop that kinda thing. If it's on your mind it's on hers so just be smooth about it.

I would caution that this might possibly be a trap. You're call.

if this was a normal PU I wouldn't really recommend this, and I'd call it a long shot but...

Call her, if you get voicemail, "I was talking to (mutual friend) about you and she said..." hang up, don't overact, when she asks later finish it with something innocent like, "she said you have the cutest ears/hair/eyes/style/whatever."

She'll call back, or answer the first time, tell her you think she's the smartest, classiest women this side of Eden or whatever you want to say and tell her you want to make her your girlfriend.

And I'm wincing writing this bc the odds are directly propotional to this working as to it being a trap. Good Luck bro!

[jcgonzmo]

I dont know if this can help you. My last girlfriend is a HB10 . She liked the attention but she was actually a good girl. We would always hang out but she never actually gave me the sense of being able to kiss her. I was getting so anxious about it that one day, without proper timing or anything I just went up there and try to kiss her. She turned her head! I tried doing this when I was going to drop her off in her house so If I got a NO I had an excuse to get out. The funny thing is that even if things got funny at the moment, I never felt rejected. This actually make things better. After two days, I text her to go out for lunch. She said yes. Then she told me that she actually liked me but wanted to wait until we were an official couple. This made me feel great. The fact that I tried to kiss her and she was willing to hang out with me, was a definitive sing. After two weeks we became an official couple. What I am trying to tell you is, just get it done. If she says NO, you guys will stay friends. If she says YES, great for you!

[Stazza]

Thanks for the advice guys, REALLY appreciate it. But you know what, haven't heard from her in a week, haven't seen her, I sent the last txt and all. I'm just gonna cut my losses. If she contacts me or I see her around, I'll definitely put this advice to work, but I've got other girls on the go at the moment, and I don't really wanna give her the opportunity to say no to us hanging out, because it's a very real possiblity, fuck that!