AA is stopping me!

[Chopi]

I've noticed that I have Approach Anxiety(AA) when approaching women. I know there's that 3 second rule, but every time I follow that I get nervous and forget openers and routines I have on my 'cheat sheet'.

Also to note, when I'm introduced to a girl by someone I know, I feel so comfortable and I can actually run material without any problems. I have a theory for why this may happen, and why it's easier for me, but I rather not talk about it.

I want to know what should I do to get over AA, I hate it so much.
*Also I have a busy schedule, so I can only do day game for the next few months.

Thanks for any responses.

[Moon Pigmoore]

Ya man, it's so much easier that way. But ya, it's kind of a crutch.

Try having your wingman open a set for you. I don't normally like to do this but if you're feeling off one night it can relieve some of your anxiety and it can be a good way to get you into a talkative mood.

And the 3 second rule is great because you don't have time to get into your own head and overthink your approach. Just do it!

Say you go in and totally bomb, you forget your material or you mix two openers into a jumbled mess, then, I don't know, you fart. Who cares if this one set thinks you're a dumbass? Pick yourself up and sarge ahead. Hope that no one saw that and open the next set before you have time to feel sorry for yourself.

But if you're in a quiet coffee shop or a library and you fart, you should probably bail.

- Moon

[Hustle]

Just my $0.02, so take it for what its worth....

FORGET your material. Forget Game. Just OPEN, OPEN, OPEN.

I have the exact same problem. I can talk in front of crowds, teach class, and talk to girls in my social circles, but cold walk-ups make me sweat BUCKETS!!!! hahahahahahahaha!!!!

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time, right? Take smaller bites. My first goal was: OPEN every single person in every single social situation possible. Man, woman, octopus, or martian. I am now opening every stranger I meet and engage them in conversation, not appear "creepy," AND bring more light and joy into their day (i.e. have a fun convo).

My 2nd goal was: 3 second rule. See a set and BAM open! Open set after set after set after set. The only way to get over being uncomfortable is EXPOSURE. Just keeping opening until it gets easier.

3rd goal: Starting running openers, work on body rocking, engaging the whole set, making allies with AMOG, etc etc etc

4th goal: Start using stack/canned material = A2.

Small bites. Thats how I am doing it.

[Chopi]

Thanks, I found the replies pretty useful.

[Prophet]

Hey Chopi,

Hustle's got the right idea here: small-chunk your game. Good for you for trying your best to follow the 3 second rule. Even if it means you get a little nervous and forget all your routines at least you're in set!

For now, pick one or two openers and stick with them until you can run them without even thinking about them. Once you have those in the can you will find it's much easier to open sets because you wont have to worry about what you're going to say. This will decrease your AA considerably. And then when you're in set and you get past your perfectly memorized opener you can always just pull out the ole' cheat sheet if your mind blanks on what to do next. That is why it's there, after all.

If AA is still giving you trouble, a good wingman can be the cure. Your wing can always pop a nearby set for you with "Hey, my buddy has a question for you..." and then leave you to continue with your canned opener. My old wing Showcase and I would do this back in the day if one of us was having trouble opening those first sets of the night and it's very effective at blasting away the initial AA.

Keep approaching brother! AA may never go away completely but it does become very easy to manage eventually.

Happy sarging,

Prophet

[Shystie]

Man, I have this same exact problem. I went to Vegas 2 weeks ago and a bunch of my buddies flew in from the East Coast. One of my friends (the one who introduced me to MM and got me reading) came as well. We went to the club and I was, well to be quite blunt, I felt like a bitch afterwards. He was trying to hard to get me to open some sets but I just wouldn't. I have been shy my entire life and to suddenly be the opposite is very hard to do. Later in the night he opened a set and brought me into it and it was pretty easy to just talk.

I am trying to work on my inner game before I go out and start sarging. I am reading one of the books that was reccomended by this site for inner game. Sucks so bad because I started ASU in August and there are so many hot girls there!

Edit: For the record (if it wasn't obvious) I am new to this. I have read a bit on the sites and the MM and I hope to one day change myself. I do think this would be valuable in more than just getting girls. I think it would make you successful in all areas of your life.